I blame Stephen Covey for a good part of my day-to-day frustration. Stephen Covey and his 7 Habits have ensured that a generation and of half of middle class people are aware of productivity and formulas of success, and of how much they can accomplish if they would just follow the right steps. On any given day, I’m on several journeys to a better place. And goals are a big part of all this. And not just goals, big goals. Big goals are supposed to motivate because they are inherently inspiring, accomplishments worthy of our efforts.
Big goals are fun to conceive and talk about, but focusing too strongly on them dries me out. It’s like when you spent so much time and energy organizing a party, making sure it ran smoothly, only to find yourself wondering afterward why you didn’t have much fun.
Big goals take time to achieve, so you’re always on the road, on the way. Even people who don’t formally set big goals have a sense of long range achievement, even if it’s big and vague like getting to retirement, getting kids through college, or getting through a tough day.
It takes a while to taste the victory of a big goal, to reinforce yourself and your plan. And that lack of feedback dries me out.
For a quick jolt of joy, I’m learning to look for small victories.
Small victories are the overlooked accomplishments. The quaint inns on the long road to whatever big thing is now only a dot on the horizon. They’re achievements that seem mundane, but use some of my skills towards some meaningful end. Here’s a quick test for small victoryness: they are those achievements that you probably wouldn’t tell anyone about, it’d seem too mundane, but which you can look at and smile.
It’s more than just stopping to smell the roses, it’s acknowledging the stopping is itself an achievement in its own right–two sweet things for the one stop!
Why is it important to recognize them? They are everywhere! As part of life, they deserve at least recognition. But more, they deserve celebration. Small accomplishments allow me to have joy of victory, so I can experience the results more often and fine tune my approach to the big goal I’m chasing. If I allow myself to experience the joy of achieving an intermediate goal, I might realize that it’s enough, that I don’t really need to keep going. But if I do want to continue, it gives me a boost to keep going. They’re also wonderful because you don’t even have to find the goals in them, you can have the victory almost as quickly as you set you’re goal. And that feels good. It’s fun.
Big goals may not even be what we really want. Many people want to start a business or get into great shape or in some way do something radically different in their lives. Beside taking a while to achieve these ends, they may be empty once achieved if you haven’t gotten in touch with what you really want. Often, I don’t really know what I want until I have it. For me and many of my friends now having kids, being a parent is something we didn’t know we wanted to be until we already were.
On a nature documentary, I saw a mother cheetah catch a cute baby gazelle and give it to her two cubs to play with. The tiny creature could still run. They stalked the it, pounced, let it run some, and pounced again. Each capture, a small victory.
What’s natural for cheetahs, is a chore for me. Why do I ignore small victories so much? (This is going to hurt) Overinflated sense of myself. I am meant for bigger things some part of me says. If I were that cheetah cub I’d ignore the damn gazelle, telling mother cheetah that I don’t want the handout, turning instead to the fat rhino across the plain, a big goal worthy of me, and I would die from not learning to hunt a proper dinner.
Maybe small victories are all we truly have anyway. Maybe they’re more important than the big ones because they are our daily bread. Why is the first dollar you make in a new business the best one? Even if you go on to make a fortune, that dollar is an unforgettable thrill.
Small victories provide a better foundation for later big victories than does a relentless drive to the top. I enjoy exercise of various sorts. Take strength training, for example. I used to think that being able to generate as much force as I could was the best thing to do. Push or throw big weight. But in ignoring the process, I also accumulated small aches and pains from overworked big muscles and forgotten little ones.
Now I’m learning to do a simpler workout that leaves me energized instead of kinked. I’m using less weight and more of my entire body. I had to drop the heavy baggage of performance. I still plan to get there, but will take my time and build up slowly.
Building up slowly, stopping to smell the roses, and cherishing the little achievements may strike you as the obvious thing to do. But how many do that instead of going full tilt as soon as they can? Do you know many dieters who celebrate one healthy day of eating, or even one healthy meal, instead of agonizing over when they’ll get to that 10 pounds lost mark? Without a conscious recognition of small victories, it’s easy to get tempted into clawing your way to the end.
Small Victories
I blame Stephen Covey for a good part of my day-to-day frustration. Stephen Covey and his 7 Habits have ensured that a generation and of half of middle class people are aware of productivity and formulas of success, and of how much they can accomplish if they would just follow the right steps. On any given day, I’m on several journeys to a better place. And goals are a big part of all this. And not just goals, big goals. Big goals are supposed to motivate because they are inherently inspiring, accomplishments worthy of our efforts.
Big goals are fun to conceive and talk about, but focusing too strongly on them dries me out. It’s like when you spent so much time and energy organizing a party, making sure it ran smoothly, only to find yourself wondering afterward why you didn’t have much fun.
Big goals take time to achieve, so you’re always on the road, on the way. Even people who don’t formally set big goals have a sense of long range achievement, even if it’s big and vague like getting to retirement, getting kids through college, or getting through a tough day.
It takes a while to taste the victory of a big goal, to reinforce yourself and your plan. And that lack of feedback dries me out.
For a quick jolt of joy, I’m learning to look for small victories.
Small victories are the overlooked accomplishments. The quaint inns on the long road to whatever big thing is now only a dot on the horizon. They’re achievements that seem mundane, but use some of my skills towards some meaningful end. Here’s a quick test for small victoryness: they are those achievements that you probably wouldn’t tell anyone about, it’d seem too mundane, but which you can look at and smile.
It’s more than just stopping to smell the roses, it’s acknowledging the stopping is itself an achievement in its own right–two sweet things for the one stop!
Why is it important to recognize them? They are everywhere! As part of life, they deserve at least recognition. But more, they deserve celebration. Small accomplishments allow me to have joy of victory, so I can experience the results more often and fine tune my approach to the big goal I’m chasing. If I allow myself to experience the joy of achieving an intermediate goal, I might realize that it’s enough, that I don’t really need to keep going. But if I do want to continue, it gives me a boost to keep going. They’re also wonderful because you don’t even have to find the goals in them, you can have the victory almost as quickly as you set you’re goal. And that feels good. It’s fun.
Big goals may not even be what we really want. Many people want to start a business or get into great shape or in some way do something radically different in their lives. Beside taking a while to achieve these ends, they may be empty once achieved if you haven’t gotten in touch with what you really want. Often, I don’t really know what I want until I have it. For me and many of my friends now having kids, being a parent is something we didn’t know we wanted to be until we already were.
On a nature documentary, I saw a mother cheetah catch a cute baby gazelle and give it to her two cubs to play with. The tiny creature could still run. They stalked the it, pounced, let it run some, and pounced again. Each capture, a small victory.
What’s natural for cheetahs, is a chore for me. Why do I ignore small victories so much? (This is going to hurt) Overinflated sense of myself. I am meant for bigger things some part of me says. If I were that cheetah cub I’d ignore the damn gazelle, telling mother cheetah that I don’t want the handout, turning instead to the fat rhino across the plain, a big goal worthy of me, and I would die from not learning to hunt a proper dinner.
Maybe small victories are all we truly have anyway. Maybe they’re more important than the big ones because they are our daily bread. Why is the first dollar you make in a new business the best one? Even if you go on to make a fortune, that dollar is an unforgettable thrill.
Small victories provide a better foundation for later big victories than does a relentless drive to the top. I enjoy exercise of various sorts. Take strength training, for example. I used to think that being able to generate as much force as I could was the best thing to do. Push or throw big weight. But in ignoring the process, I also accumulated small aches and pains from overworked big muscles and forgotten little ones.
Now I’m learning to do a simpler workout that leaves me energized instead of kinked. I’m using less weight and more of my entire body. I had to drop the heavy baggage of performance. I still plan to get there, but will take my time and build up slowly.
Building up slowly, stopping to smell the roses, and cherishing the little achievements may strike you as the obvious thing to do. But how many do that instead of going full tilt as soon as they can? Do you know many dieters who celebrate one healthy day of eating, or even one healthy meal, instead of agonizing over when they’ll get to that 10 pounds lost mark? Without a conscious recognition of small victories, it’s easy to get tempted into clawing your way to the end.